Get It Together (free tutorial for assembling the Blog Collection Windmill Bag)

Okay, last week you got the pattern for the panels of the Windmill Bag based on my signature, Blog Collection, motif. This week, I'm going to show you how I assembled the bag. There are many, less complicated, ways of putting the pieces together, but I use this one because it only requires two seams. (We have already established that I hate to sew, right?)

If you're a newbie, I'd recommend trying a simpler assembly method first. You'll find numerous tutorials on various blogs and on Youtube.

Lay all four of your pieces out so they are set the same way. The bottom is your beginning chain; the top is Row 17.

On the bottom, place a marker at the 17^th stitch from the left (mine is green). On the top, place a different colored marker at the 18^th stitch from the right (mine is blue).

Lay your pieces out end-to-side as shown so they resemble a windmill. Attach them using your stitch markers. Each row at either end will require one stitch, hence the count of 17.

At the center (which will be your bottom), hold all 4 together with one marker.

Fold up your opposite ends and attach them to one another using the stitch markers so they resemble the picture that shows the assembled piece. The corner of one panel will meet the blue marker of the next panel. This will give you the zig-zag effect at the top. You may want to pin the sides or use additional stitch markers to hold them together as you might if you were sewing a fabric bag.

At this point, you should be able to visualize a finished sack.

Hold the bag inside out with right sides (outside) facing. *Attach your yarn with a slip stitch at the open end (top) of the bag through two layers and slip stitch the pieces together.

Continue stitching through the center where all four pieces join and end at the opposite side, on the top of the bag.

Repeat from the * for the remaining seam.

Note: Assuming the seams would go through quite a bit of strain, I chose to crochet through all 4 loops to give the bag more strength.

You should now have a sack that resembles the one pictured except for the border and shoulder straps.

I will publish the pattern/tutorial for the border and straps next week.

Happy Crocheting!

Don Quixote Eat Your Heart Out (free pattern)

I began working on this pattern about a year ago. This is why I haven't posted any free patterns on the blog in so long. Finding the time to crochet has been tough enough, but finding the time to design and work a prototype has been darn near impossible.

However, a few weeks ago, I stumbled across the pattern and supplies again while cleaning and decided I was so close to done that I should go ahead and finish the job. It has been my go-to project whenever I feel the need to procrastinate.

I planned, initially, to do two bags: the Windmill (aka pinwheel), and a basic hobo style. Because I love a hobo bag, but I enjoy having several sizes at my disposal, I later came to the conclusion that two hobo bags -- one round, one oval -- might be a better idea.

But the ideas kept expanding and changing as I got further and further into the project. Now, it's quite likely you will see a collection of four bags and a wristlet. I'm testing each of the patterns here on the blog where you will eventually find them all at no charge, released as each pattern and prototype is finished.

I also plan to group the whole collection and make it available as an e-book for Kindle. If all goes well, you'll eventually see it in print and on other e-reader platforms as well.

I also intend to keep the promise I made to my blog readers the first time I posted a free pattern here: Although you may find these patterns for sale elsewhere, any pattern bearing my signature (Big Girl/Blog Collection) motif will be available here on the blog at no charge.

The Blog Collection

Windmill Bag

Supplies:

about 400 yds (4 balls, 8-10 oz) worsted weight yarn

size H-8 (5mm) crochet hook

stitch markers or pieces of scrap yarn in two colors

yarn needle or smaller crochet hook for weaving in ends

Note: If you plan to sew the pieces together rather than crochet them, you will need a yarn needle regardless of how you plan to work your ends. Do not weave in ends as you go since you may wish to use long ends to connect your pieces. The assembly tutorial does not make use of the long ends. Instead, it illustrates my preferred method of assembly which is not recommended for beginners.

Make 4:

chain 58

Note: All rows count 57 stitches.

Row 1: sc in 2^nd ch from hook and in each ch across, turn

Row 2: ch1, sc in each st across, turn

Row 3: repeat Row 2

Row 4: repeat Row 2

Row 5: ch1, sc in BLO of each st across, turn

Row 6: ch1, sc in FLO of each st across, turn

Row 7: ch1, sc in BLO of 1^st st, [dc in BLO of next st, sc in BLO of next st] across, turn

Row 8: ch1, dc in FLO of 1^st st, [sc in FLO of next st, dc in FLO of next st] across, turn

Row 9: repeat Row 7

Row 10: repeat Row 8

Row 11: repeat Row 7

Row 12: ch1, sc in FLO of each st across, turn

Row 13: ch1, sc in BLO of each st across, turn

Row 14: ch1, sc in FLO of each st across, turn

Row 15: ch1, sc in each st across, turn

Row 16: repeat Row 15

Row 17: repeat Row 15

finish off, leave long end unless you plan to use the assembly tutorial

one completed panel

The tutorials for my methods of assembling the pieces and crocheting handles will follow in upcoming posts over the next few weeks. My method is kind of advanced, not meant for beginners. I came up with it to minimize working with multiple pieces. (I can't stand having to sew/crochet pieces together.) You will likely find simpler methods on youtube.

As always, please don't re-post or share the pattern. You are welcome to link to my blog and I would encourage you to make more than a few to sell at craft fairs or in your Etsy shop. All I ask is credit for the pattern and design.

Happy Mother's Day!

Maisey and Vitka and Shean . . . Oh My!

So in the very first days of the KAS, my anxiety was through the roof. I had just had my first short story accepted for publication and was working on publicity and learning the ins and outs of independent and self-publication. For the first time in my life I was completely without control, chasing a lifelong dream, and helping others along that same route.

Sound tough? It was.

Worth the effort? You bet.

Do it all again? Hell yeah I would!

Problem was I was having anxiety-induced nightmares. No big deal. I've had them all my life. We're old friends, these dreams and me. I still have them, especially when I'm having a lean month and am worried about exactly how the rent will get paid. That tends to be when I have some version of the dream where I'm back at Macy's slaving away for The Man in the form of a previous boss who was a complete [redacted].

But one dream . . . one dream was different. I dreamed the KAS gang was invited to SDCC (San Diego Comic Con) and in the midst of promoting anthology #5. That doesn't sound like a nightmare until you consider that I was the one charged with gathering the crew for a group photo shoot before the start of the official KAS party and I couldn't find my shoes! Not to mention, getting this gang together is like herding cats.

Anyhow, back to reality. My partner in crime, Bernard Schaffer and I are currently in the midst of recruiting for the third anthology we'll be producing together. At least I think we are. (April was a huge blur for me; perhaps I should check in with him.)

And here's where stuff gets cool: Bernard, along with my buddies (AKA the three stooges), authors Alexander Maisey, William Vitka, and Michael Shean, have been confirmed to lead a panel on independent writing and publishing at Philadelphia ComicCon on June 2 at 1 p.m. We're still unsure whether Joshua Unruh, or any of the other KASers will be able to make it.

BUT, if you are in the Philadelphia area, or headed there for ComicCon anyway, stop by to meet some of our boys. Rumor has it that they will have some KAS goodies to give away including swag provided by the legendary Harlan Ellison himself.

Cripes! I can hardly believe this is happening. Maybe that dream will come true after all. If it does, to heck with the shoes; I'll go barefoot.

Don't forget! Sunday, June 2, at 1:00 p.m.

Have fun, kids!

The Gryphon's Song by Matt Posner

This is actually an excerpt from Matt's book Level Three's Dream. When I read the second volume of the School of the Ages series back in October, this poem struck me. I immediately emailed Matt and asked his permission to include it, so I thought, What better way to end the month?

Shall I sing, as planned?” asked the Gryphon.

            “Sing,” said the Mock Turtle, still looking worried.

            The Gryphon struck a proud pose, front legs extended, raising the greasy beak. It then threw out its wings majestically as it sang a high note.

            “Bel canto,” said the Gryphon. “You should read about it. The exaggerated motion of the wing loosens inhibitions and allows the voice to be free.” The creature then sang:

In youth I loved the hippo

And the hippo did love me.

Find Level Three's Dream on Amazon

We went about cavorting

And swimming in the sea.

            But then the seasons changed,

            And the hippo’s love was gone.

            Oh, love’s a thing that turns and turns

            But living must go on.

And then I loved the hydra,

And the hydra’s love was mine.

I loved the scaly kisses, and

The passion serpentine.

            But then the seasons changed,

            And the hydra’s love was gone.

            Oh, love’s a thing that goes and comes

            But living must go on.

And then I loved the werewolf,

That lupine made me swoon.

I loved to feel that doggy tongue

And holler at the moon.

            But then the seasons changed,

            And the werewolf’s love was gone.

            Oh, love’s a thing to pass some time,

            But living must go on.

And then as I grew older,

I loved the kraken too.

Its fine caressing suckers

That stuck to me like glue.

            But then the seasons changed,

            And the kraken’s touch was gone.

            Oh, love’s a thing that cannot stay,

            But living must go on.

Still I was growing older,

And the bonnacon had my heart.

That burned up several acres

With each resounding fart.

            But then the seasons changed,

            And the bonnacon’s passions cooled.

            Oh, love’s a thing we love to love,

            But better not be fooled.

At the end I loved the dragon,

That was harsh and cold as bone,

Who answered my romantic talk

In stern, imperious tone.

            But then the seasons changed,

            And age was the dragon’s doom.

            The years go by, you find yourself

            A' weeping at a tomb.

Of all the lovely creatures

I’ve loved since my birth,

There’s not a one to stay with me

From sea to sky to earth.

            And how the seasons change,

            And how their love is gone.

            Oh, love’s a thing that goes away,

            But living must go on.

Matt says:

My Gryphon is not like Carroll's Gryphon (who was a washed-up blatherer longing for his Public School days) but has a female diva-like personality. I gave this Gryphon a song that was meant to be, as with some of the songs in the Mock Turtle section of Alice in Wonderland, both ridiculous and bittersweet. The ridiculous part is the rhymes to do with various mythical creatures and their body parts; the bittersweet part is the acknowledgement of how transitory love can be, and how sad a person might feel after many failed affairs. The closest real-world equivalent would be "Raspberries, Strawberries" by Kingston Trio, but this is a female version of same.

This is my favorite song from Level Three's Dream, and I'm honored that you chose it.

Bad Trip by Bruce Alford

Gratiot Avenue’s

throat throbs

The Loop

lifts us higher

We vanish

in hallucinogenic delight

lost

in deadly terrors

thrashing machines

Stop rocking.  Sit still. 

Tow trucks buildings wings

swirl around us dizzy

speeds

scrawled against the windows

our weak watery eyes

amazed  the voice

of the angular-faced bus driver

explodes over the intercom

The city can

make  you blind,

make you see,

hear, feel things not really there

Chew the windowpane, swallow,

swear Windsor is holy.

Find icons, shrines everywhere

even in automobile

assembly lines

The bus driver laughs

like sobbing

tells us this

city

screams

like a steam-saw

Steel shed

on the lake

You can see it

so clearly, so clearly

This... you... everything ...

wants to keep going

He seems euphoric

mumbles a tune

sounds like Thanks for the Memory.

Bruce Alford is a reviewer for First Draft, a publication of the Alabama Writers’ Forum. He has published fiction, creative nonfiction and poetry in journals such as the African American Review, Comstock Review, and Imagination & Place Press. He has also published a book of poems, Terminal Switching (Elk River Review Press 2007).

He received a Master of Fine Arts in fiction from the University of Alabama and was an assistant professor of creative writing at the University of South Alabama from 2007-2011.

"Bad Trip" can also be found in Bruce's book Terminal Switching.

Peeling of a Pomegranate by Camilla Arnold

Swollen scarlet orb
basking on blanket
sun bleached terrycloth
Dare you deny provocative display?
Cheeks

  blush overripe pink
spongy canvas 
beneath red folds
perfect size for palm.
Layer beneath layer
reveals protruding ruby
cluster.
Hungry shards
tear fleshy fragments
trace of scarlet tells 
you’ve eaten too much.
Perfect seed spotted
pluck from honeycomb hideout
suck gem until pressure bursts skin.
Chomp
on wrinkled infertility
hard pit breaks tooth

 Jaw clenching

 climax.

Camilla Arnold at Englishman River Falls, Errington, B.C.
copyright Innocent Thunder Photography

Camilla says:

I'm a 21-year-old English Major who's been writing poetry for the last couple of years; it provides a substantial distraction from diabolical research papers! I live on Vancouver Island, British Columbia which provides me with endless natural inspiration. My blog is: anneliza.tumblr.com -- just a microcosmic representation of the tone and focus of my poetry. 

Writers Write by Bernard Schaffer

Writers write.

Chambered Rounds
is now available on Amazon

Writers read.

Writers find inspiration in the work of others and

remain vigilant not to ape anyone else.

Writers seek out criticism from those that

deserve to give it

and they listen.

(Most of the time.)

Writers work alone

without seeking approval from others

and finish with something

before showing it to anyone

because a writer is like a lonesome captain

on a sailboat steering through uncharted waters

expecting to arrive at a lost city of ancient riches.

But nobody wants to hear what you intend to find

expect to find

or say you'll find.

They just want to see it.

When I write, I think about those that came before me

who sat in a chair plinking away at the keys

or loading paper into the typewriter

or putting quill to fresh ink

and I go at every single one of them

like their ghosts were sitting across from me

saying, "Come on, kid, you can hit harder than that."

Not because I don't love them

and not because I don't admire them

and not because I don't appreciate them

but because when I am writing they are my competition

and if you aren't trying to outdo everyone else

then you're just taking up space. 

People often ask me for advice

and I suppose that's the purpose of this column

that I was so graciously asked to contribute to. 

Well, here it is.

Write hard. 

Read hard.

Find an editor who will critique you hard.

And when you find some level of success, repeat those same steps

but on an even greater scale. 

Now go get to it. 

From Chambered Rounds

BERNARD SCHAFFER

Amazon Author’s Page for a full list of publications

Facebook Fan Page for free book info and more

Official  blog for updates